I recently asked this question of some parents of other LGBTQ kids. Some of the answers were sweet and some were heartbreaking. All were absolutely invaluable for me to read and take to heart.
I hear many times people tell young LGBTQ people who are struggling that “it gets better”. And it does! Both for them and those who love them. So hang in there, do your best and forgive yourself for mistakes along the way.
Some of the answers I received below:
That my daughter (amab) wouldn’t suddenly want to wear make-up and go dress shopping! In my urgency to show my support, I started by focussing on the wrong things, and I didn’t know that gender identity and gender expression are separate things.
I wish I knew how to teach them how to deal with the cruel aspects of the world better. C. was much braver than me but did make an easy target for bullies. They were sooo sensitive. I warned, but didn’t have coping skills to teach.
They’ll change their views quickly, go with the flow, support and love them no matter what.
To set boundaries with family/friends about what I am willing to walk them through processing. My very religious sister walked through how to bring her children around “that” when they were so young and they had been taught that is wrong. She was not going to join the annual family reunion because she just couldn’t expose her boys to that. She came around maybe a week later. She prayed about it and God told her not to worry about it. That week has forever shifted my relationship with not just her, but anyone that “sided” with her. ❤️ It is not your (or your child’s) responsibility to educate, listen to, mentor, or correct other people. I also wish I would have educated myself earlier, so I could have spoken more calmly.
That we’d be surrounded with way more love and support than I had thought we would be.
I actually wish I knew two years before that depression and suicidal thoughts could be a precursors to what she was going through. I had no idea what was going on, but her coming out made a world of difference.
That keeping my mouth shut would prevent so much pain.
The dumb questions that I should not have asked them.
Our Monkey Life 