I am not okay.

I am really not. I am depressed. I am in pain. I am struggling.

It is quite literally exhausting me to keep pretending to be okay. All I want to do is curl up under the blankets of my bed, take a handful of benadryl and sleep for a week.

I can’t find the joy in my life right now and it totally sucks. I can’t even bring myself to shower or brush my hair, let alone wrap presents. I can’t tell the people I love and who love me how I am feeling. They just tell me to stop. They tell me I’m being foolish. They don’t want to hear it.

So I suffer in silence hoping each day is the day I feel better. Waking up each morning knowing that day has not arrived yet.

I am not okay.

And nobody cares.